Frank: ahhhh...but did you really?
MS CGS: Then there's "Tom, Tom, Piper's son, Stole a pig an' away he run; pig was eat, Tom was beat, Tom went runnin' down the street." (secret Mason-esque code for the potential perils of tracking the Holy Grail) Finally, the esoteric revealed!
Frank: Pig was yummy tho..........
Me: I had totally missed the secret society scenario,the code though may take us as far back as Thomas a Beckett Archbishop of Canterbury from 1162 until his death in 1170.
Me: Now all we need is the secret ring.
Frank: I got one, but can't tell you or let you see it....it's a secret :-|
Me: The truth is that his real name was Gilbert Beket Jr. it must be some linkage to the Thomasine conversion of 1169 that caused Henry II to kill him the following year, and thus he became Saint Thomas to both the Catholics and the Protestants.
Frank: My ring has a video of that.....oops....shhhhh.
Me: Now if I can just tie this all into String Theory by adding a couple of more dimensions, we've got that little trinket from Stockholm sewn up.
MS CGS: Do you suppose Disney's "Thomasina," the cat heroine (re: the divine feminine) is Gilbert reincarnated? Her worst hairball was a visage not of Christ, but of her nemesis, Henry II's rat-fink advisor. She gagged when she spied the secret decoder ring in her daily ration of Cracker Jack.
Me: The screenplay was written by Robert Westerby and Paul Gallico and was based upon Gallico's 1957 novel Thomasina, the Cat Who Thought She Was God. ...
Me: What more proof could we possibly need, it also explains why Frank keeps watching that secret decoder thingy, he's such a cat lover.
MS CGS: It's the Fisherman's Ring. Tom-Gilbert is the Pope!
Frank: Da*n Cats.....watch my decoder for the cat's 9th life.....
Discovery
When I read what I have stretched out before you, I must admit, my blood ran cold. I came upon it on that fool Anderson’s blog. He’ll be the first one that I kill, I fear.
When the nomination first came before me I laughed. I have been a member of the Nobel Physics committee for seven years and this was the first time any one had paid so little regard to the Nobel protocol that they’d submitted their own work, work that had not even been finished, much less published, for official consideration. I knew right then that this Anderson must be either a fool or a genius. My job was to figure out which.
When I began to look through the submitted equations that were purported to prove the Thomasine Confluence theory, I was appalled. They lacked coherence and anywhere that they crashed they were buoyed by the insertion of an unseen universe or a temporal inversion to sustain them.
Officially I derided them, in public it was easy to show that they deserved no more consideration than the lint under my carpets for serious candidacy for the prize, but it took me to the blog, and it was when I read the comments that I knew they’d begun to see the clues.
My name is Inganteria Moelusteian, but everyone calls me Tom, and yes I am that Tom, the direct spiritual successor to the apostle Thomas, Saint Thomas, Tommy Smothers, and Tommy Chong. The Rightfully Ordained Brother Thomas of the Order of the Thomasine Monks. I am the guardian of the secret of cynical thoughts, the doubters of truth, God’s own troublemakers. And now a small group of idiotic Americans had begun to post the secrets of our Order on the Internet.
My charge is clear, I must hunt them down one by one and eliminate them as a threat, by conversion to the true belief or transition to the inanimate.
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